There’s a secret diet that allows you to eat hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, turkey, bologna and salami sandwiches in any amount you want. Oh yeah … pasta, pizza and ice cream, too. And there’s absolutely no counting of calories or carbs.
It’s not only a diet, but in the larger scheme of things it isn’t a diet at all and yet you’ll lose excess weight, slash your cholesterol level and eradicate heart disease – as well as any chance of heart disease. You’ll reduce or eliminate your need for diabetes and hypertension medications.
Within days of discovering and following this non-diet diet, you’ll be free from annoyances like heart burn, irritable bowel syndrome, gout and constipation; and you’ll catch colds and the flu less often. Your energy level and sense of well-being will soar, and you’ll increase your life expectancy.
For men, you can reduce the size of your enlarged prostate, reduce your chances of erectile dysfunction and drastically cut your risk of prostate cancer. For women, you’ll substantially reduce your chances of breast cancer. Both sexes will see a precipitous decline in the risk of developing many cancers including colon cancer.
So here’s my first question … what would you pay for this secret diet? Seriously, I want you to decide right now what sort of dollar figure you would pay me for access to this diet.
Perhaps I can help you arrive at a dollar figure. Access to this secret non-diet diet will provide you a longer life to do the things you enjoy with the people you love. You’ll spend less time going to doctors, pharmacies and hospitals. You’ll be less afflicted by disease and therefore you’ll incur less medical expenses. In short, you’ll be happier, healthier and wealthier.
Would it be unreasonable to ask for $1,000,000? I don’t think so. Ironically, several years ago I offered Rosie O’Donnell to pay her $1,000,000 if she tried this diet and it failed. She turned down the offer.
While you’re deciding what you’ll pay me, allow me to sweeten the offer. Unlike doctors and hospitals, I’ll guarantee the results. In fact, this is the only diet that can claim “results are typical.” While every other diet on the planet touts fantastic results with big letters and then disclaims “results not typical” in small letters, my non-diet diet has no such disclaimer other than … RESULTS ARE TYPICAL!
I’ll even go one better … I’ll double your money back if my secret non-diet diet fails you in any way.
I’m willing to wager dollars-to-donuts that you’re waiting for the catch (or the punch-line). There is none. Everything you’ve just read is 100% true and accurate.
This secret non-diet diet has been touted by many of the greatest thinkers ever to walk the planet. Jesus Christ, Buddha, Pythagoras, Socrates, Leonardo Da Vinci and Albert Einstein to name just a few. God, himself (or herself), mandated it.
And yet, somehow, someway, for reasons that defy reason, logic and intellect, it managed to become secret.
So, you got a figure in mind yet?
Well, for a limited time only, you won’t have to pay me one million dollars, or even one dollar. Consider it a gift, and here it is…Vegan. A plant-based vegan diet will do for you everything outlined above and so much more. What’s more, vegan food is incredibly delicious and satisfying and options include “meats” from non-meat sources.
You will sacrifice virtually nothing (but old habits), and in return receive a bounty of precious gifts. It is my solemn promise to you.
If I were asking for a large upfront payment, I wouldn’t blame you for being a doubting Thomas (or a doubting Mary). But there’s absolutely no payment required. Just try it to believe it.
This column will provide insights, information, Q&A and practical tips on how to get on the vegan path. If you want to know more you’re invited to ask me. Your comments and questions are welcome. Write to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Jeff Popick is a 17 year resident of Marco Island. He holds a real estate license and general contractor’s license, and his true passion is bettering humanity through our food choices. Though not conventionally licensed in the fields of health and nutrition, he is widely considered a top expert in the field and has written three books and countless articles. He also enjoys public speaking and has hosted radio shows on the subjects as well.