Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Ready to Date Again


Dear Coach,

I’m an 80-year-old widow who is ready to meet a male friend to enjoy dinner out or a movie once in a while. It feels really scary to consider dating again after so many years. Where do I begin?


Mershon Niesner

Dear Ready,

Let’s reframe your “dating dilemma.” What’s another term you can use for dating? Perhaps friendship works. What do you do when you meet a new lady friend? What would it be like to treat a potential male friendship the same way?

Now, consider in advance what you’d do if you met an eligible widower, or otherwise unattached man, at church or at your condo association meeting. Think of some things you might say to signal your interest in getting to know him better. What questions might you ask? How would you determine similar interests?

It’s a different world out there today. For instance, it’s perfectly permissible for you to suggest meeting for lunch. You’d do that with a potential new girlfriend, right?

Be yourself. Be honest. Be brave. An old friend of mine once told me, “When you throw your bread out on the waters of life, it comes back buttered.” Don’t hesitate to ask for what you want.

As a retired Certified Personal/Professional Coach, I’m delighted to bring my years of life coaching experience to Coastal Breeze News readers. I’m currently writing a self-help book, “Mom’s Gone, Now What?” and invite you to follow me at More than mother loss, the blog addresses how to live a healthy, joy-filled life.

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