Saturday, June 25, 2022

Q&A with Simba



This column is the opinion of a 3-year-old African Grey Parrot named “Simba” who has an extremely high intelligence level.  While he does not possess a degree from any college or university, he does have a strong opinion of himself and feels that he is the best candidate to answer the complex questions of today’s discerning pets…and the humans they own…

Dear Simba:

With the New Year and season in full swing, I hear people making New Year’s resolutions.  Some of them are achievable and some of them are quite farfetched.  I have even found myself making the same New Year’s resolution every year and find it hard to stick to.  I promise myself every year I am going to quit my midnight snacking but always find myself regressing every evening when I open up the refrigerator.  Any advice on how to stick to a somewhat achievable resolution would be appreciated.

Midnight Snacker

Dear Snacker:

New Year’s resolutions are great ways to better ourselves in areas that we feel need some improvement.  I don’t normally make them because my human tells me I am quite perfect so why try to fix something that isn’t broke.  However, in your case, I am going to give you a bit of advice that has been handed down to me from the great “Dear Abby” as stated in the original credo from Al-Anon.

Dear Abby’s Timeless New Year’s Resolution Advice:

JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I’ll not speak ill of others. I’ll improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I’ll refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I’m a smoker, I’ll quit. If I’m overweight, I’ll eat healthily — if only just for today. And not only that, I’ll get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it’s only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

Snacker, now that I’ve answered your question…you got me thinking.  Maybe I should cut down on my french fry and potato chip intake.  My profile is getting a bit wide and I must maintain my physique for my celebrity photo shoots.  I think this is great advice for both of us.  Don’t try to quit something all at once.  Take steps to improve you…and just for today…be happy.


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