Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Help! I’m submerged in e-mail!



By Carol Glassman

Every morning, I am reluctant to admit, if I don’t have an early appointment I rise, and instead of shining, head for the computer.

One excuse is that perhaps someone has sent me a message to inform me of a meeting, an event, a cancellation or just to update me on family matters. Possibly a client or two needs some writing or editing. Of course I simply need to scan the news from two or three newspapers. Well, that doesn’t account for the many pieces of e-mail that land on my desktop and clog my i-Phone daily. Perhaps a little analysis is needed and I can sort through and get rid of some unnecessary messages.

Let me look at a typical day, if it’s not too embarrassing. Good grief… these people begin early! At 2 AM Kim Kommando, the slinky blonde guru of computers sent me her newsletter with some useful information. At 2:02 AM AARP reminded me of my ‘Member Benefits’. At 2:43 AM P&G was kind enough to send me some coupons for soaps and detergents, most of which I don’t use. Barnes & Noble offered me 40% off a novel I’m not likely to read at 2:54 AM and Walmart notified me at 3:30 AM about some huge savings on electronics I don’t want.

AARP waited until 3:36 AM to send me another note about a ‘Health Care Costs Calculator’ for when I retire — they’re a few years late for that one. At 4 AM the guru Kim Kommando was back to advise me about keeping my gadgets from getting killed in the cold, while at 4:07 AM Thrift Books offered a Back-to-School saving of 10% plus an extra 50 cents off each book ordered from the same location. Jewelry Making Daily waited until 4:33 AM to tell me about some tool and organization tips, and at 5:08 AM EmergencyEmail.org warned me of a severe weather alert and heavy fog in the area. At 5:46 AM VacationsToGo was tempting me with discounted cruises but I’m afraid I’m all booked for a while. At 6:15 AM Artbeads announced a 48-hour sale, with fast, free shipping, but my stash is already overloaded. Alibris had a good offer at 6:28 AM with a $20 coupon but it was only good until midnight and I don’t like to be rushed. The Toronto Star newspaper arrived at 6:46 AM to warn me that “The deep freeze could make for dicey morning commute” but cool as it is here, it won’t be a problem. My Knitting Daily information arrived at 6:49 AM but it’s a bit early for me to pick up the needles. In fact, Lucky Vitamin is indeed lucky today, as it arrived on the desktop just as I rolled out from between the cozy sheets. But I’m not in need of any any Chinese herbals at the moment. How about that! By the time I get out of bed in the morning, there are already 17 messages waiting before the day has really begun.

By 2 PM the total has risen to 50, and that doesn’t count my friends,

mail worth a response, or the ‘good stuff’ such as a shot of a wild boar on the beach, some photos of the deep now in Canada, current news, or several Pinterest photos that my niece knew would interest me.

By the end of the day, as the total reaches an embarrassing 200-plus messages, my trash runneth over and I have been offered deals on shoes, coffee makers, cosmetics, magazines, gourmet Italian recipes, the DOT Roadwatch, live radio, gluten-fee treats, tickets to events, health advice and various newsletters to which I actually subscribe.

It’s more exhausting, and in some ways, a lot less fun than a hands-on shopping trip, but there must be a reason that I look forward to the daily mail in the inbox…

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