Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Ask the Life Coach

Dear Coach,

I sent each of my three grandsons $150 and never received a thank you or even a wish for a Merry Christmas. I’m wondering what to do about this dilemma.

Gratitude Missing Grandma

Dear Grandma,

I frequently hear a version of your story from others. An attitude of gratitude must be taught. Somewhere, someone dropped the ball. I imagine you’re feeling a combination of sad, angry, and disappointed. I don’t blame you.

I’m wondering how old your grandsons are. If they are older, I would address them directly. “Did you receive my check? What did you spend the money on? I hope you had a good Christmas.” Text them if they’re teens or young adults.

If they’re young, talk to your child, their parent, and ask them similar questions. Don’t sweep this under the rug if it’s bothering you. Even if the parent isn’t taking responsibility for teaching gratitude doesn’t mean you can’t have some influence. What would happen if you spoke out? If it sounds scary to confront the issue, consider whether or not it’s worth it.

There’s one caveat. Sometimes our efforts in this department are to no avail. We have to make the decision to love and accept them anyway—or not.

I’m grateful you emailed me. Thanks for asking such a good question!

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