Friday, January 21, 2022

Ask the Life Coach

Ask the Life Coach

Dear Coach,

I’m fourteen, a good student, and I have a wonderful family. I know I’m very lucky because my friends tell me their sad stories all the time. I’m glad I’m the trustworthy type that can be counted on but their issues around gender identity, sexual preference, parents who constantly fight, and mean siblings are too much sometimes. I want to be a good friend but I’m not sure how to handle all of this drama.

Thanks for your help,

Dear Troubled,

It’s wonderful to hear from a fourteen-year-old who appreciates her family. It sounds like you are a caring person who knows how to keep confidences. Good for you.

This is a good time in your life to learn how to set boundaries and take care of yourself while still being a friend and confidante. Having been a social worker, I know it is a difficult line to walk. Respect your intuition. It sounds like it’s telling you to not take in more than you can emotionally handle. Express this feeling to your friends. In doing so, you’ll be modeling how to set healthy boundaries—serving them as you take care of yourself.

You can say something like, “I know you’re really hurting and I want to listen and help you but I need to step back a bit. Perhaps we can talk about it later.” Have strong boundaries around late-night calls or other invasive behavior.

You’re on a great path. Don’t let friends and their problems side-line you.

As a retired Certified Personal/Professional Coach, I’m delighted to bring my years of life coaching experience to Coastal Breeze News readers. I’m currently writing a self-help book, “Mom’s Gone, Now What?” and invite you to follow me at More than mother loss, the blog addresses how to live a healthy, joy-filled life. Email questions, comments or concerns to: Your information will be kept strictly confidential. Your identifying information will not be used in the column or shared in any other way.


One response to “Ask the Life Coach”

  1. LifeCoach says:

    Hi Mershon, bye Troubled. I agree, it is important to be a good friend, but you must never forget yourself. Sometimes being a little selfish helps you to keep your spaces respected, so that something pleasant, like helping others, doesn’t become a burden.

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